I brought a girlfriend to my family house. It was a house where we had always gathered for family get-togethers. It’s not a real house, but a house I created in my dreams. But the friend is a real friend, I just can’t remember now who it was, I think it was Alice. She kept behind me as I led the way into the home. There was a family dinner happening and much activity going on. There were others in the kitchen and moving around the house and in the yard, I could hear Mexican music and talking and laughing and I felt at ‘“home,” comfortable, and happy. I could smell the food… I couldn’t see anyone else in detail but my Grandpas Lupe and Albert watching me with smiling faces as I approached them. They were both sitting on stools in the kitchen near a counter drinking beer. They looked so handsome and happy, and were stylishly dressed in short sleeved shirts, 1950’s style. Grandpa Lupe was closest to me as we approached, so I introduced him to my friend first. He stood up and welcomed her, then took me up into his arms and held me for a very long time. Hugs from my Grandpa Lupe while he was alive never felt good to me, I never felt love from him. But in this dream hug, I felt absolute love. Everything he ever wanted me to know was in that hug. His hug healed everything hard that passed between us, it healed our relationship. He finally let me go and sent me to my Grandpa Albert who took me up, smiling at me, and pulled me into his arms. I remember his scent. I remember his scent when he was alive, and he still smells like that. I don’t know if I can describe it. It’s some combination of sun-heated skin and cigarette smoke lingering on the air, of a freshly peeled orange, of beer, clean earth and aftershave. The stubble on his face scratched my cheeks. I can still feel that. His embrace was long, and love emanated from the warmth and strength in his arms, too. I felt at home, and rejuvenated, somehow. I was home, I was with my Family.
Tears roll down my cheeks as I write this, remembering being with them both in this dream and wanting to go back to them, remembering the feelings I experienced with them there. I went to visit my Family Home in the Dreamworld, and I know my ancestors were all there, my dad, my Grandmas and aunts and uncles, I felt them ALL there. But my Grandpas needed to see me on this visit. A month after this dream, I would come to understand why I had it, why my Grandpas were so present, showing me love and strong patriarchal support. I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer on June 26, 2020. I had this dream on May 20, 2020.